Words from La Padre - La padre

The Lesson of the Ugly Duckling

2/17/2016

by Deborah Globus

The lesson of the ugly duckling is that he is both the pain of his current reality and the promise of his desired outcome.

I can see myself, sitting and crying on the beach. I am 24 years old, unemployed, married, and flailing in life. I am lost.

Thanks to my husband we have disposable income, though, and I have realized the joys of combing the self-help shelves and coming away with a stack of books.

I have discovered SARK who gives me permission to nap.

I have discovered Sarah Ban Breathnacht who feeds my desire to live a life of my own choosing.

I have discovered Jennifer Louden who has taught me the practice of retreat.

That day on the beach was my first retreat. I can’t remember the question I chose to guide me and keep me on track, but I know why I sat on the beach on that cold February day, crying. In that moment I admitted that I hated being a woman, and the admission devastated me.

I had always been more comfortable hanging out with guys. I had trouble with female friendships. They didn’t seem to stick, always breaking my heart. Even my beloved sister left the family, causing me to doubt my worth for years.

And I was lonely. My husband worked long, compulsive hours at work. I who had never spent a night alone until I was 21 years old, suddenly had hours and hours of solitude.

I longed for companionship. I longed for intimate, abiding relationships – ones that wouldn’t threaten my marriage, like the friendships with men did.

And so I cried. I sobbed on that beach, acknowledging this self-loathing and this chasm of longing inside of me – neither of which I knew how to address.

At that moment a swan appeared.

3 Ways to Navigate Your Growing Edges

10/20/2015

by Deborah Globus

3 ways to navigate your growing edges with three doable rituals to try right now

3 Ways to Navigate Your Growing Edges

It snuck up on me again. This growing thing. And the friction of being at my growing edge, like that damned oyster and her pearls. (I wonder if oysters complain as much as I do about pushing past my boundaries??)

What's a girl to do?

Here's a few ideas for you for when you come to your own growing edges:

Can Doubt Be a Prayer?

6/22/2015

by Deborah Globus

And death is at your doorstep
And it will steal your innocence
But it will not steal your substance

But you are not alone in this
And you are not alone in this

- Mumford & Son

Note: this is a repost of a piece I wrote in January of 2013. Of late, death is once again on the doorstep of too many people that I love. And the question still remains, what do you do with grief?

Last Thursday was the 24th anniversary of my friend's mother's death. Next year he'll be as old as she was when she died.

Another friend has lost so many of her beloveds this year that I've lost count. That doesn't include the funerals that I've gone to in the last two months or the ones I haven't, like the ones in Newtown, CT.

And I live on Long Island where evidence of storm damage sneaks up on you around every turn: a fallen tree here, an exposed root ball there and I'm suddenly reminded of all that my extended "neighbors" have been through since the October.

In the face of all this grief it's hard to believe that I can make a difference. Mine is just one small voice shouting out into the void, or so it feels.

Too many of us struggle with not feeling like we're enough. Especially when the griefs before us are so expansive, and felt so strongly by so very many. It can feel too big; and we feel too small. Thankfully, there are rituals that can support us, if we seek them out.

How To Stay Focused on A Long-Term Project

12/15/2014

by Deborah Globus

Often I undertake projects that call for extended work –

a writing project that will unfold over any number of days or weeks
a business planning retreat
a class I’m taking over a number of weeks

There is a threat (a nerve-wracking, energy-sapping threat) of losing focus, of not being able to follow through and see it through to the end.

Sheer will power is not a strong point of mine.

I stumbled upon a solution many years ago.

Letting Go of the Past - A Ritual

5/30/2014

by Deborah Globus

Like Stones on Your Heart

My fifteen year old has discovered Dead Poets Society, a movie Buzzfeed guarantees will make you “ugly cry.” They’re not wrong – it’s a tear-jerker about growing up. Between the movie and the new page I put up on the website about coming of age ceremonies, it got me thinking about my own teenage years and the difficulties I had.

It got me thinking about the ways in which I got over those difficulties, and the ways I found healing. I tell the story of one of those ways in the video below.

Rituals should be easy. They should be doable. They should be helpful. Dragging around your past (or even just the argument you had the night before) doesn’t help anyone, least of all you.

Head to the beach and let the water take your troubled past.

Lost in the Woods - A Photographic Journey

12/6/2013

by Deborah Globus

This week I feel lost in the woods…

A Year and a Day - Honoring Anniversaries

11/7/2013

by Deborah Globus

A friend of mine is celebrating an anniversary this week, except it isn’t really an event to celebrate.

Really what she’s doing is honoring a milestone in an on-going process.

In our culture we’re big on the yearly anniversary but in other cultures (like the Celtic traditions) it’s the quest of a year and a day that holds real power.

How to Keep Sane While Being Sociable

6/18/2013

by Deborah Globus

I have a friend who is leaving today for a family reunion where 30 other family members and a couple of extroverted controlling personalities will be calling some of the shots.

What’s an introvert to do?

I gently reminded her that she has every right to protect herself energetically from all the loving chaos that promises to ensue; as good as the energy may be, there’s still a whole lot of it and that can be overwhelming.

There comes a point in time when you really do need to ward it off…but in a good way.

It’s called putting up warders.

It works like this:

I suggested she imagine herself encased in a bubble of light – white light for protection; green light for healing; and gold light of the Highest Good.

Dealing with obtrusive energies in this way doesn’t address other people or affect them in any way- only the person putting up the warders so it's a safe practice, karmically speaking.

It’s a simple visualization, the intention of which is to keep you safe. And as we all know, having an intention is half the fight! So it works on a psychological level thanks to the intention.

And it also works on an energetic level and works more effectively the more you practice it.

Of course, when that fails you can always call for reinforcements. There’s a candle burning here for my friend and it will be all week as she navigates her (beloved if energetic) family. And I’m sending her prayers for remembering the blessings of her visit.

(It’s nice to have an ordained minister on call for moral support!)

Creating Angels

5/20/2013

Angels are another name for feelings.
When we love and act with kidness
we create angels of love and kindness;
when we hate and act with violence
we create angels of hatred and violence.
It is our job to fill the world with angels of love:
messengers of kindness
that link people together as one family.

Rami M. Shapiro

A Little Time

5/10/2013

by Deborah Globus

Although I believe there’s a ritual for every occasion and every need, sometimes what is most needed is just time.

It’s been a trying couple of weeks as a volunteer project spiraled into chaos with a lot of parties involved and lots of room for mistakes – not my favorite situation to be in.

Part of me wants to create a ritual to fast track this whole recovery process, get me back in the swing of things, get me posting and working again.

Author

My name is Deborah Globus and I am La Padre. With me you'll find the support you need to uncover practical, do-able spiritual practices that work for you. I offer new perspectives on old practices like journaling and ritual, with a side of compassion and a healthy dose of humor, just to keep it down-to-earth and real!

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