La padre
deb@lapadre.com 631.935.2777
  • Home
    • What IS Ritual?
    • Frequently Asked Question
  • Let's Work Together
    • ritual write-ups
    • ritual write ups for celebrations
    • Story-Beads
    • Monthly Planning Ritual
  • Free Ritual Write-Ups
  • Blog
  • About

Can Doubt Be a Prayer?

6/22/2015

0 Comments

 
by Deborah Globus
Picture
And death is at your doorstep
And it will steal your innocence
But it will not steal your substance

But you are not alone in this
And you are not alone in this


- Mumford & Son

Note: this is a repost of a piece I wrote in January of 2013.  Of late, death is once again on the doorstep of too many people that I love.  And the question still remains, what do you do with grief?

Last Thursday was the 24th anniversary of my friend's mother's death. Next year he'll be as old as she was when she died.

Another friend has lost so many of her beloveds this year that I've lost count.  That doesn't include the funerals that I've gone to in the last two months or the ones I haven't, like the ones in Newtown, CT.


And I live on Long Island where evidence of storm damage sneaks up on you around every turn: a fallen tree here, an exposed root ball there and I'm suddenly reminded of all that my extended "neighbors" have been through since the October.


In the face of all this grief it's hard to believe that I can make a difference.  Mine is just one small voice shouting out into the void, or so it feels.


Too many of us struggle with not feeling like we're enough. Especially when the griefs before us are so expansive, and felt so strongly by so very many. It can feel too big; and we feel too small.  Thankfully, there are rituals that can support us, if we seek them out.

I have been know to burn prayers. The fire releases them; the smoke, as many cultures believe, carries their intent heavenward. And it is a beautiful, elemental thing to watch a flame catch, on wood or on paper and flair up - all strength and nimbleness.

But what would my prayer be?  I had always wanted to believe that the thing you felt most strongly should be your prayer.


Can doubt be a prayer?


 Because last week that's what I felt most strongly.
Picture
So, I wrote out my prayer that sat like a stone on my heart - my prayer that confessed my doubt that my choices, and where I've given my time and energy aren't good.  They aren't enough in the face of so much misery and sadness.

I took my little fireproof cauldron outside, gathered some dried sticks and even a tulip tree flower, and nurtured it to a small fire.  Not much, but enough.  Enough to light my prayer and send it out to the Universe.

Picture
As the ashes drifted with the breeze, I thought about my doubt.  Nearby was a stone in the dirt, still cold with the morning chill.  I pried it loose.  It was so cold there was still frost on the underside - the perfect metaphor for how my doubt felt.  I added it to the fire.
                                             
I warmed my doubt in the fire of my prayer.


When at last the fire had burned itself out, this stone of my doubt was warm to the touch - dirty and covered in ash but warm and lovely to hold.  Now it sits on my desk waiting for my word for 2013 to be written on it.  It'll be a word that supports me in the work I do in the world; it'll be one to help me feel like I'm making good choices and that I am enough.


From the ashes of my doubt I'll build a new year.



Picture
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Author

    My name is Deborah Globus and I am La Padre.  With me you'll find the support you need to uncover practical, do-able spiritual practices that work for you.  I offer new perspectives on old practices like journaling and ritual, with a side of compassion and a healthy dose of humor, just to keep it down-to-earth and real!

    Picture

    Categories

    All
    Altars
    Blessingways
    Business
    Christianity
    Coming Of Age
    Earth Based
    Emotional Healing
    Hello Month! Welcome!
    Holidays
    How It Works
    Inspiration
    Interviews
    Intuition
    Journaling
    Judaism
    La Padre
    Leap Day
    Maggie And Christian
    Memorials
    Milestones
    Paganism
    Practices
    Prayers & Blessings
    Reference
    Retreats
    Ritual
    Rituals
    Rituals For Celebrations
    Rituals For Little Ones
    Rituals For The Moon
    Rituals For Writers
    Tarot
    Tricks And Tools
    Weddings
    Writing

    RSS Feed

Picture
Picture
Picture
631.935.2777
deb@lapadre.com
Website by LaraEastburn.com