Finding the Good in the Difficult

by Deborah Globus

“My father was the best sea monster in the world.”

That was the first line of the eulogy that I spoke at my father’s memorial service 3 years ago.  And it’s true; he really was the best sea monster in the world.

He loved the beach.  Sometimes he’s tell about how his mother would skrimp and save to be able to get a little bungalow on the shore for the summer.  He could hold his breath longer than anyone else in the family.

When he took us to the beach he’s put us on his back in the water and blow awesome bubbles.  He’d gurgle and growl as he’d pull us through the water.

When it came time to write his memorial service I was faced with a difficulty.

The difficulty of coming up with something good to say about an alcoholic who had hurt a lot of people in his life, myself included.  

More than wanting to, I needed to be able to find the good buried within the difficult and the complicated history that all of my family had with this man.

We needed that for closure.  We also needed it to ease the pain in our hearts – a pain that had existed long before he passed away.

I found some other things to say that highlighted other positive points but it was the memory of my dad as a sea monster that made me cry, and in crying I found comfort.

“My dad was the best sea monster in the world.”